Congratulations Jasna for your creative gesture. I feel that a bit more care be given to the splitting of lines. For instance the first line needn't have been cut at the point where you did it. A cut after the word 'ethillennariyam' would have generated a better impression. Speaking on the other side, it may be said that the uneven break in the first line manifests in form the fore-defeated desire of the speaker. Write more and give attention to the aspect of craft in writing.
Congratulations Jasna for your creative gesture. I feel that a bit more care be given to the splitting of lines. For instance the first line needn't have been cut at the point where you did it. A cut after the word 'ethillennariyam' would have generated a better impression. Speaking on the other side, it may be said that the uneven break in the first line manifests in form the fore-defeated desire of the speaker. Write more and give attention to the aspect of craft in writing.
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